Subscribe to RSSthose who cannot
I’m still without gainful long term employment at the moment (barring a spot of freelance writing and insya-Allah a glimmer of hope for what seems like a great prospect for the future) so at the behest of my mother I found myself at Orchard Hotel for the Ministry of Education’s Teaching Seminar a few weeks back.
I’ve always had my apprehensions about teaching and I’ve always told people that while I felt comfortable with the academic aspect of it (I didn’t mind the idea of doing lesson plans and what not) I never felt quite right with the idea of having to discipline kids. I gave it more thought before and after the seminar and it struck me as to why I felt like this. I know teaching wouldn’t necessarily be a Dangerous Minds type of situation (although apparently that’s not far from the truth) but the main mental obstacle I faced was that I never really had a teacher whom I genuinely respected and whom I could say really changed my life for the better beyond textbooks and exams. To break it down, I had some teachers in primary school whom I liked because they were nice people, and I liked a number of my teachers in junior college because I was studying subjects which I enjoyed (although I wouldn’t wish the A Levels on anybody; they’re the toughest exams you can take as a student in Singapore and you only have two years to prepare for them) and they on the whole treated students with more respect, given our age and (supposed) maturity.
When it comes down to secondary school though, the pickings become much scarcer. Maybe it was because I never got into the kind of trouble that would get me labelled as wayward youth in need of a reality check. I considered that it was simply a case of my not being able to appreciate the character building wisdom I was being given as a teenager, but that wasn’t it at all. I don’t feel like I ever had the sort of positive role model in secondary school who would inspire me to follow in his or her footsteps. And that’s why it feels like it would be disingenuous of me to teach. I’m terrible at influencing other people and to have over a hundred colleagues none of whom respect you is a scary prospect for me. Both of my maternal grandparents were teachers, but they were more career teachers than anything else and I don’t think they inculcated in their children a desire to become teachers.
I’m not saying never but I guess at this point in my life I don’t see myself teaching in the near future. Maybe one day things will change for me… or maybe they won’t.
As for the above-mentioned ‘glimmer of hope’, do pray or send good wishes and positive vibrations my way. I’d really like to see it work out.
Peace.
